Living Raw

I am so heaven bent and determined not to ever be fat or obese again until most days I spend every waking moment thinking about what i am NOT gonna eat!. I count every single calorie that goes in my mouth and I am obsessed with the scale. I weight myself every morning.

I know this sounds kinda kookie but it works for me. I try not to obsess about the weight and such but right now i can’t think of anything else much. But i don’t deprive myself on the days That I am not fasting, i eat whatever i want. And if i break fast before time, i don’t beat myself up. I realzie this is a life process and i am training myself to be so very aware of what i am eating.

I use to just stuff food in my mouth and not even think about what i was doing. Now i think sometimes i am too aware. So i need to work on some balance. Over all It is a slow process, every day seems like forever. I will be happy when i am down to the size i want to be and I can finally stop over reacting to food. If i eat something, I loose nothing, but if i eat nothing I will loose something.

Yes i am still at it, even though i don’t write about it much anymore. It has become very personal and deep. I now crave water all the time. I am down 2 dress sizes and I feel really good. I think i am going to break the fast for good soon, just not sure exactly when. However i also know that fasting at least one day a week will become a part of my life forever on. I will probably post a few pictures sometime in 2009, but right now i don’t feel like taking any.